If you’re the type of person that hates touting yourself, having to do it feels icky. Even if you don’t mind touting yourself a bit, it still feels bad to have to hold your accomplishments under your boss’s nose and be all “look at me! Look at me!”* Is it too much to ask that you notice the work I’m doing, bro? No one needs a parade, but acknowledgement of good work is critical to keeping your employees feeling seen and appreciated. (Which seems really obvious to me, but based on the number of bosses that aren’t doing this, it apparently isn’t.)

Imagine that you have to write an email to nudge someone on a deadline. How many of you would start it with “I’m just checking in…”? Yeah, me too. I use words like “just” to soften my speech at work so I don’t come off as mean or demanding. 

There are tons of articles written about how women should stop using the word “just” because it makes us look weak, like we’re subordinating ourselves. And I have to be honest with you, I started this post thinking I was going to tell you the same: remove “just” from your vocabulary because you don’t need to subordinate yourself to anyone. 

I’ve spent the last 10 years desperately deleting all the “justs” from emails, taking many more minutes to craft an email that reads more aggressively than I’m comfortable with because I “shouldn’t” use those softer words as a woman in the workplace trying to be taken seriously. 

I’ve been going to this awesome new yoga studio, and at my Vinyasa class yesterday (which kicked my ass, as per usual), our instructor led by talking about how winter or sustained bad weather kicks off three kinds of responses in living beings — migrate, hibernate, or tolerate. As humans, the only one of these that we can biologically do is tolerate.

I guess you can hop on a plane to Palm Springs and “migrate,” but you can’t really get there on your own like birds or whales can when they migrate. 

And while we feel like we can hibernate (aka stay in bed all day), we can’t really sleep for months on end without having to eat, drink, or use the bathroom. 

So, tolerate. Which is an interesting theme that’s been coming up a lot for me lately. 

As the New Year begins and you’ve taken some time to reflect on the past year, ask yourself how you’re honoring and processing any changes that did take place. 

I’ve found that if I don’t stop and process change, the emotions that come with that change blindside me when I least expect it. Even if it’s a good change, it’s still important to recognize and accept what that means, and there are scary or bad feelings that can come from good change – change, after all, is generally a bit uncomfortable.

Before you get deep into all the things you want to change in the new year, pause and think about what you achieved and experienced in the past year. Having clarity on what got you to where you are today will help keep you focused on moving forward without dwelling on the past.

The beginning of a year can be a natural time to reflect on how the last year has gone for you. I am personally learning to be better about reflecting; it doesn’t come naturally to me. I like to keep powering forward without processing what’s happened. But I’ve learned in recent years that reflecting can truly help you to gain insight, slow down, and make positive changes.

As established, I’m a sucker for a January reset. I suspect that most coaches feel the same way – it’s like OUR holiday. I like marking transitions with something that feels tangible (fireworks are great for this). It helps me stop and take in the change, something I’m not great at without a little help (fireworks preferred). 

And, I usually decide I’m going to change all the things and have a great first week of January, then fall right back into old patterns about one week in. My mistake is changing everything at once, and I’d love to help you not fall prey to the same instinct. 

I like the turning over to a new year. It feels like a blank slate, even if it's totally not. We can benefit from thinking of it that way, though.

Caveat: if you are heading into the new year exhausted, burned out, and/or in general not feeling the blank slate vibes, honor that and don’t feel bad for one second if you don’t keep reading. We have to meet ourselves where we are.

If you are feeling the vibes (as my 11 year old says), take 5 minutes to think over everything that happened in 2024. What do you want to leave there? Write it down. Then write down three things you need to do to keep whatever it is in 2024.

Are you feeling overwhelmed and burnt out because your days are a sea of meetings? Are you having to pull out your laptop after hours to actually get work done, feeling resentful that you’re working extra hours?

Try this one simple thing to reclaim some of that precious time back: block 2-3 hours per week as focus time for yourself.

Yeah, yeah, you’ve tried it, I’m sure. It always ends up getting scheduled over, or you’re managing 87 Teams threads while texting with your partner about the kids’ after school schedule and having Carol from accounting pop by to say hello.

You’ve got to put in a little work to set this strategy up for success, and check your ego at the door (which might be the hardest part).

Today I announced on LinkedIn that I am officially leaving my full time job at Seattle U and going into this coaching and consulting business full time. If it’s on LinkedIn, it’s real, right?

This has been a long time coming. Hours and hours of thinking and talking and crying and dreaming. Hours of coaching training, studying, certification. Hours (over 100 and counting) spent coaching clients, learning how to do it better every time, feeling so lucky to be able to play a small part in my clients’ successes.

I don’t know about you, but every time my annual review rolls around, I am dredging my memory to recall what the hell happened this year. Often I go through the calendar to remember when big events or meetings happened to cue my memory. This is clearly not ideal.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned (and you’ll hear this often from me), YOU are the only person you can count on 100% at work. Waiting for your boss to tell you what to do or help you proactively prepare for your annual review might leave you waiting a loooong time. I’ve created another free guide that will help you look out for yourself and be ready to go into your review primed and ready (and without surprises).

Are you limiting yourself?

I was working with a client recently who said "there's no way I could do [big new thing] because I'm really bad at [little thing]."

These are words I have uttered many times. For example, I told myself for years, ever since I came in last in...everything (no really, everything) during high school P.E. that there was no way I could ever run a half marathon because I was bad at running.

My limiting belief was that there was no way I could accomplish this because I was just bad at it. Full stop.

Have you ever had a terrible onboarding experience? You’re not alone.

Once I had to play desk musical chairs for the first couple of weeks of my new job until they got around to clearing out my office from the prior occupant. Another time I had almost no support from a leader with one foot out the door, so I had to find the right people to meet with and stumble around to find how to do simple things like print or request vacation leave.

I used to be an actor. Everyone who has met me in real life is unsurprised by this. 

When I graduated from college with a degree in theatre, I moved to Seattle to be a full-time actor with barista-ing on the side; I quickly realized that it wasn’t the life for me and no, I did not want to move to Poughkeepsie for 6 weeks to be Ophelia.

The good news for me is that there are a ton of transferable skills from a theatre degree to the working world, and I’ll tell you about one of my favorites now - how to prepare for an interview like you’re an actor prepping for auditions. 

I’m nervously excited about starting this blog. First, because I’m worried I am supposed to be using Tik Tok instead of a blog (am I living in 2010?). And second, it’s kind of scary (terrifying, really) to put yourself out there online.

So, here we go. Hi, I’m Ellen.

Have you ever had an Emma Thompson moment at work? Slipped quietly into a bathroom or an office or unused conference room with no windows and a door that locks (oddly specific because that’s my preferred place) and cried? 

(If you haven’t, I want you to keep reading anyway, because you 100% work with someone, are friends with someone, or have someone in your life who HAS done this. Possibly a lot.)

If you have done this, I want you to tell yourself, right now, that it’s OK. You are not “overly emotional.” You are not wrong. You are not acting in an unprofessional way. 

You are a human. And you’re acting like it. 

It comes up suddenly. That choking feeling, the panic, sinking into hyper-multitasking. We’re all feeling it more and more - in 2022 over one third of US residents reported that they are completely overwhelmed by stress each day, with those aged 18-44 feeling it the most. And a lot of what overwhelms us are things we can’t control. In addition to all the home/work stress, there is so much pain in the world right now, and a lot of us are feeling it hard. 

This experience was so powerful that I became a coach myself, because I want to be able to impact others the way my coaches have impacted me. I’ve been honored to help clients through some of the same things I was going through back then (the values exercise is one of my favorites). I’ve helped folx navigate big new leadership roles, burnout, emerging from freeze mode, thinking about what’s next for them, and so much more. 

If you’re “coach curious,” I’d love to chat. Drop me a line (does anyone actually drop a person a line anymore?). I look forward to helping you think about whether coaching is right for you, and whether I’m the right coach for you.

Do you feel valued at work? 

If not, you’re not alone. In fact, a recent survey by Workhuman reports that one-half of employees feel only somewhat valued or not valued at all by their employer. 

Feeling unvalued hurts. You’re not excited to come to work when no one seems to care about the work you’re doing–why would you be? 

Are you someone who takes the time to reflect and process? Or are you like me, always charging full steam ahead paying very little attention to how you’re feeling about anything? 

I’m a recent convert to the process of reflection, which is proven to boost growth and productivity. I can attest that reflection can absolutely help you make better informed decisions about your work and your life.