Navigating Generational Clashes at Work
A Better Way to Handle the Resistance
If you’ve felt lately like the workplace is one big tug-of-war between generations, you’re not imagining it. Many of us are bumping up against generational friction at work every day — whether it’s differences in communication, boundaries, working styles, or what “professional” looks like.
As someone perched right at the edge of Gen X and Millennial (“Xillennial”?) I know that tension well. I started my career surrounded by older Gen X and Boomer colleagues who taught me not to be late (even by ten minutes), never show emotion, work hard alone, and definitely not expect too much support. The rules were clear: keep your head down, don’t rock the boat, and hustle hard if you want to survive.
Fast forward to managing younger Millennials and Gen Z folks, and the record scratched hard for me more than once. These newer generations name their burnout out loud to their boss (unthinkable in my early days). They prioritize their well-being, question old ways of doing things, push back on toxic norms, and sometimes skip the hierarchy altogether to get their needs met.
Half of me wanted to applaud. The other half felt my inner voice whisper, “That’s not how it works around here.” And that’s where the real work begins — because what often feels like a clash between generations is, underneath it, a clash between our learned resistance to change and the evolving needs of our workplaces.
Why We Resist — and What To Do Instead
Your feelings about a coworker’s “unreasonable” ask? That gut reaction to a dress code that feels too casual or a PTO request that seems audacious? Those feelings are data. They’re worth exploring, not dismissing.
I’m a big fan of the Immunity to Change model, which helps us unpack why we resist shifts we say we want. So I’ve adapted it here into a simple five-step practice you can use when generational differences at work make you bristle.
Five Steps for Dealing With Generational Tension (Without Losing Your Mind)
Notice Your Reaction
When you feel that inner “Who do they think they are?” pop up, pause. Say to yourself: “I’m feeling [frustrated, annoyed, uncomfortable] because [coworker’s name] did or asked for [thing].” No judgment — just observe. If you can, write it down.Spell Out What You Think Is Wrong
Ask: “What feels wrong about what they’re doing?” Be specific. Maybe it’s: “I think it’s wrong that they asked for extra time off during our busy season because I believe everyone should pitch in equally.”Uncover the Hidden Rewards
Britt Frank, author of The Science of Stuck, reminds us we often cling to the status quo because there’s a hidden benefit. What does resisting this change give you? Familiarity? Control? The comfort of the known? Get honest about the perks of staying stuck.Identify Your Deep-Seated Beliefs
Ask yourself: “What do I believe to be true that’s backing up my reaction?” Maybe you were taught that asking for help makes you look weak. Or that real leaders never admit they’re burning out. Naming those assumptions is powerful — because you can’t challenge what you can’t see.Experiment With Micro-Changes
Here’s the kicker: don’t overhaul everything at once. Try a tiny test. What happens if you shift your thinking just a bit? Support a coworker’s “wild” idea and see if it really does harm team performance. Let go of your mental dress code and notice whether the world ends (spoiler: it won’t). Observe, record, repeat.
The Point Isn’t Perfection — It’s Curiosity
If your gut reaction says, “But my instincts have gotten me this far!” you’re not wrong. You’ve survived — maybe even thrived — by following the rules you were taught. But workplaces aren’t static. Neither are people. Staying curious about your own resistance gives you more choices and a better chance of building real connection with your colleagues, no matter their age.
So next time you find yourself eye-rolling a coworker’s request, catch that feeling. Use these five steps to unpack it. You might discover that what feels threatening is actually a chance to build a healthier, more human way of working together.
Change is hard — but so is staying stuck. Be gentle with yourself as you figure out which old rules are worth keeping, and which ones need to go.
If you’d like to listen to the episode of the Hard at Work podcast that this post is based on, you can find it here.
