Take Time to Process Big Changes
As the New Year begins and you’ve taken some time to reflect on the past year, ask yourself how you’re honoring and processing any changes that did take place.
I’ve found that if I don’t stop and process change, the emotions that come with that change blindside me when I least expect it. Even if it’s a good change, it’s still important to recognize and accept what that means, and there are scary or bad feelings that can come from good change – change, after all, is generally a bit uncomfortable.
For example, I graduated from grad school, got married, turned 30, and got a big new job all within a six month time frame. I then experienced a few months of feeling absolutely low, not wanting to get out of bed or see my friends. I was diagnosed with depression and went to therapy to finally name and process the emotions I had around all that change that happened. So many huge life changes went by without me pausing to accept and reflect on them that when they were over, everything caught up with me and I stalled out.
(Note that therapy and medication worked for me as a first step in stemming depression, but I am not a mental health practitioner and would advise you to talk to your doctor if you’re feeling low.)
Now I work (and it’s work for me) to process changes as they happen, rather than waiting for them to pile up and knock me down when I’m least expecting it.
Some ways I now work to honor change (and I’m still learning):
☆ Journaling: Taking 5 minutes to process each day in my journal has helped me spot themes and red flags.
☆ Pay attention: As an expert multi-tasker and recovering fixer, my natural instinct is to railroad through feelings or solve problems quickly. Stopping and taking a few breaths when I’m having a strong feeling of anxiety or worry or frustration helps me slow down to truly understand what I’m feeling.
☆ Talk about it: I’ve found that talking about big changes with a trusted friend/family member/colleague/therapist helps me name how I’m feeling about them in a way I can’t when I’m by myself.
What’s a big change you’ve experienced recently? Did you take the time to process it? If not, what’s one thing you can do today to help yourself do so?
