Tips to Manage Overwhelm
I imagine this alpaca is feeling overwhelmed.
Recently, my husband and I were carpet shopping for our never-ending DIY remodel on a Saturday afternoon when I happened to look at my phone and a reminder popped up that I had to be at an event for work in an hour and a half. Luckily I had enough time to get ready and get there (and honestly, was pretty thrilled to end carpet shopping) - but this is happening to me a lot right now.
It comes up suddenly. That choking feeling, the panic, sinking into hyper-multitasking. We’re all feeling it more and more - in 2022 over one third of US residents reported that they are completely overwhelmed by stress each day, with those aged 18-44 feeling it the most. And a lot of what overwhelms us are things we can’t control. In addition to all the home/work stress, there is so much pain in the world right now, and a lot of us are feeling it hard.
My first instinct when I am overwhelmed is to try to DO ALL THE THINGS.
This is not a good instinct because a) it’s impossible and b) just makes it worse. I then move into fantasy mode, where I devise all the ways to have a less stressful life (most include winning the lottery). This is when I dream of raising goats and alpacas somewhere pastoral, far away from Outlook and Teams.
While I’m not shelving the goat/alpaca farm idea because: goats and alpacas, I do have some tactics to get myself out of the state of overwhelm so I can function and feel better.
Acknowledge that I’m overwhelmed. General societal norms (hello patriarchy) have us pretending we’re fine, just FINE. We’re not. It helps me to stop and check in with myself when I recognize those telltale physical signs of overwhelm (choking feeling, panic), take a breath, and name it.
Take a walk. As Emily and Amelia Nagoski write in their excellent book, Burnout, once you’re in a “freeze” state you have to complete the cycle or that stress keeps building up. Physical activity, deep breathing, hugging a friend or partner…these things help me knock myself out of overwhelm and into a state where I can feel the feels I need to feel and get back to myself.
Ask for help. It helps no one to suffer in silence, and you’re more likely to dig deeper into overwhelm if you don’t get a hand to help you out of it. Can your neighbor walk your dog so you can get in a much-needed grocery run? Could your partner make dinner during your busy week? Could you pass off some work to your teammates - not to overload them, but are you hoarding work?
Guess what: you’re doing no one any good when you’re trying to push through burnout. You’re more likely to snap at people, make hasty decisions, and start your coffee maker without a cup in place so coffee goes all over the counter (don’t ask me how I know that).
No one will give you a medal for working through burnout. You will give yourself much more suffering. So put the endless quotes about “resilience” and “hustle” aside and go take care of you in a way that feels good.
I recommend videos of goats and alpacas.
Photo by Joakim Honkasalo on Unsplash
