Step Four in Making Change: Uncover Your Hidden Competing Commitments
This is the fourth on a series of posts detailing the steps you can take to make lasting change using the Immunity to Change model. If you missed them, you can catch them here:
After you’ve done your fearless inventory, detailing all of the things that you’re doing/not doing that are working against you achieving your One Big Thing (OBT), you now get to explore what exactly is driving you to do those things.
The Immunity to Change model calls these your “Hidden Competing Commitments;” all of the reasons that you think you should do or not do the things in your fearless inventory that are keeping you from achieving your One Big Thing.
Let’s break that down. A good way to start is to look at your fearless inventory list. Answer the following question about each thing on that list: If I imagine myself trying to do the opposite of this, what feeling comes up for me?
For example, let’s say your OBT is that you want to speak up more in meetings. One of your fearless inventory items is that you wait until after the meeting to send an email with your comments, rather than speak up during the meeting. Ask yourself: what are you scared will happen if you do the opposite of that; e.g. speak up in the meeting?
Maybe you’re scared that you’ll say something your colleagues perceive to be stupid, which is why you won’t contribute during a meeting, but instead will wait until after to have the time to write a perfect email response.
Take this worry and turn it into a commitment (because it is) — “I’m worried about looking stupid” turns into “I’m committed to not looking stupid.” Do you see how that changes things in your brain? You now know:
You want to speak up more in meetings (your One Big Thing).
One of the things you do that keeps you from speaking up in meetings is wait until after the meeting and email your thoughts (one of your Fearless Inventory items).
You are doing that because you’re committed to not looking stupid.
Kinda magic, right? We’re working backwards to really get at why you’re keeping yourself from making the change. Think of it like a reverse matryoshka doll - you’re peeling away the layers to get to the core of why you’re not making the change.
Now that you’re here in the model, you should start to see a theme developing about how you’re telling yourself that not making the change will keep you from something bad happening. Next step is to figure out why you think that, so we move on to Step 5.
