Be Your Own Mirror: Self Reflection Works (really)
Are you someone who takes the time to reflect and process? Or are you like me, always charging full steam ahead paying very little attention to how you’re feeling about anything?
I’m a recent convert to the process of reflection, which is proven to boost growth and productivity. I can attest that reflection can absolutely help you make better informed decisions about your work and your life.
Because I’m a recovering perfectionist hyper-pleaser ambitious person, I don’t like to pause and reflect, and I’m not a journaler by nature. It has always felt to me that there’s no time for that stuff. I’d rather keep going and ignore all the signs that some things in my life might need some attention. (Shockingly, this is not a good approach).
Over the course of my coaching program at the Hudson Institute, which employs a ton of self-reflection, I learned the immense value of this practice. We reflected multiple times a day during the in-person session and after every coaching session (I still do this). I was surprised how much I was able to surface that I was worried about, needed to address, felt good about, etc. - and all of that went into helping me grow as a coach.
And yes, it’s a practice because if you’re not great at it, you’ll get better with time, like any new skill.
Here are a few things I’ve learned to make it easier to build a reflection practice:
Set aside a consistent time to reflect. Is it the end of the day? The end of the week? The beginning of the week? First thing in the morning? Your call, but put it on your calendar or you’ll never do it. Set aside 15 minutes for each session, start with once a week and build up to more if that feels right.
Actually write it down. It makes a difference. Grab a new journal. If you’re a pen snob like me, get a new pen - any excuse for a new pen.
Use a prompt. As a recovering perfectionist, I don’t do well with a blank page; it stares at me and makes me nervous that I have to fill it out in the perfect or ‘right’ way. It helps me to start with a prompt or question, then I free flow from there. Some prompts that work for me:
What is going really well in your life right now? Why? Can you identify things that you have done to prioritize the things that are going well?
What is not feeling good right now? Can you identify why?
What’s one thing you’d like to do differently right now?
What’s something you’re proud of that recently happened?
What’s something you recently learned that you’d like to put into practice? How might you start?
I especially recommend a reflection practice as you’re starting a new position - at the end of each week, think about what you’ve learned and reflect on how you’re feeling. It’ll set you up for even more success. Reflection is helpful all the time, but especially during any major transition.
Get yourself a new journal and pen and get to it. You’ll see the benefits immediately.
