Episode 7: Hard at Work Field Notes

Boundaries, Burnout, and Why You’re Not the Problem

Let’s connect the dots—and help you take action.

Summary

In this solo Field Notes episode, host Ellen Whitlock Baker reflects on the first six episodes of Hard at Work and distills the biggest takeaways about workplace culture, boundaries, burnout, and bias. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, undervalued, or just plain exhausted, this is your chance to regroup. Whether you're new to the podcast or you've been here since day one, Ellen will walk you through four recurring workplace themes and introduce a free downloadable tool to help you go from depleted to empowered.

This is your invitation to stop blaming yourself for a broken system—and to take the first small step toward setting better boundaries at work.

Takeaways:

You’re not the problem—the system is.
The way most jobs are structured wasn’t built for real people with real lives. If you feel like you can’t keep up, you’re not alone—and you’re not failing.

Boundaries are essential, not selfish.
Saying no is just the beginning. Boundaries help you say yes to what matters most. And they’re necessary for sustainable work, especially in leadership roles.

Real inclusion takes real effort.
Policies alone don’t cut it. Inclusion is messy, human, and something you practice—by listening better, apologizing when you mess up, and treating people like people.

Feelings belong at work.
Emotional labor, invisible grief, and burnout show up whether you name them or not. The workplace needs to make room for what’s real, not just what’s productive.

There’s a free toolkit to help you start.
Download the Boundaries at Work Toolkit for scripts, email templates, and a two-week energy tracker to help you set boundaries that protect your time and your health.

Notable Quotes:

• “Boundaries aren’t just about saying no—they’re about saying yes to what matters.”
• “If you’ve ever asked, ‘Is it just me?’—it’s probably not.”
• “Inclusion isn’t a box you check. It’s a culture you build.”
• “Feelings aren’t a liability at work. They’re data.”
• “Work wasn’t built for most of us. But we can start to rebuild it—one boundary at a time.”

Chapters

0:00 – Welcome and what to expect
1:00 – Why this reflection episode matters
2:00 – Recap of the first six episodes
6:00 – Theme 1: You’re not the problem
7:00 – Theme 2: Boundaries are essential
8:00 – Theme 3: Real inclusion is messy and necessary
9:30 – Theme 4: Feelings belong at work
11:00 – Introducing the free Boundaries at Work Toolkit
13:00 – How to use the daily energy tracker
15:00 – Final thoughts and what’s coming next

Keywords

burnout recovery, workplace boundaries, emotional labor, toxic workplace culture, invisible labor at work, boundary scripts, women in leadership, work-life balance, burnout prevention, emotional intelligence at work, inclusive workplace, professional development for women, resilience at work

Resources

Free Download: Boundaries at Work Toolkit
Includes:
– Email templates & scripts
– A two-week energy tracker
– Journal prompts to spot your burnout triggers

Transcript

Ellen Whitlock Baker

Hey everyone, and welcome back to Hard at Work. I'm your host, Ellen Whitlock Baker, leadership coach, speaker, and your guide through the weird, wild world of work. If you've been listening to the first six episodes, first of all, thank you. And please let me know how you're feeling about it all. Leave a comment about whether you've put any of this into practice or have your own great ideas on how to make the workplace better for all of us.

Today's episode is a little different. It's our first Field Notes episode where I pause, reflect, and help you connect the dots across everything we've covered so far. My goal for this podcast from the beginning was not only to shine a light on what's wrong with our workplaces, but to give you all actionable tools to either try to change things or to protect yourself from being steamrolled. So if you're new here, this is a great place to start. And if you've been with me from the beginning, thank you, this is your invitation to take what you've heard and turn it into action.

We have covered a ton in six episodes from navigating boundaries to facing systemic bias to challenging toxic workplace expectations. These conversations have been real, honest, and spicy, and I wouldn't have it any other way. And today, I'm distilling it all into a few key themes that keep coming up and giving you a free tool to help you move from exhausted to empowered.

So let's start with a quick recap of the first six episode. Episode one was me telling my story and why Hard at Work needed to exist. Spoiler, this podcast came out of burnout frustration and a deep belief that work can be different. Episode two, I talked with Kyle Elliott, fabulous career and trauma informed coach about how we can be better about managing and acknowledging trauma at work and supporting our team wherever they land.

We talked about how managers shouldn't be scared of trauma or feelings, but instead be curious and make space for them among their team members. Kyle gave us absolute gold as well around job search myths and how to tap into your unique brilliance.

Episode three was another solo episode on setting boundaries, which is one of my favorite topics. How to stop saying yes to everything and just reclaim some of your damn time. I offered scripts, reframes, you know, maybe a call out or two. I offered scripts, reframes, and encouragement to do this for yourself and encouragement to set boundaries before you burn out.

Episode four featured Dr. Crystal Hall, co-author of Anti-Racist by Design on how policy, psychology, and workplace culture collide and what leaders can actually do to make change. She's changing the game of behavioral research by asking researchers to include systemic biases in their models. And we talked about how that translate to outdated workplaces too.

Episode five, I tackled something I call fix your face culture.

Episode six, I talked with disability advocate Greer Procich about building accessible workplaces from the inside out. We talked about chronic illness, invisible disabilities, and what real inclusion looks like beyond checking the box.

So each conversation was totally different, but we had a few clear threads that kept showing up. So the first theme that I see is that you are not the problem, the system is. And I do say this a lot, but I want to make sure that you're hearing me. I don't know if it's the way job descriptions are written, how meetings are run, or who's rewarded at work, most workplaces weren't built with you in mind. And if you've ever thought, is it just me? It's probably not. And I really want you to stop blaming yourself for not being able to get everything done or keep up with the frenetic pace of a workplace that really isn't working.

So second theme, boundaries are not optional. They're absolute necessities. So boundaries aren't just about saying no, although that's important. They're about saying yes to what matters. Kyle, Greer, and I all hit this point hard. If you want to lead well or work sustainably, you have to know where your limits are and communicate them. Say it with me now. Setting boundaries isn't selfish. It's mandatory. Great.

Third theme, real inclusion is messy and totally worth it. Whether we're talking about race, disability, workplace trauma, the push for equity has to go beyond policy. It has to go beyond checking boxes to say we did it. It has to get into how we treat each other day to day. And this means listening better, apologizing when we mess up and creating cultures where people feel safe being human.

Last big theme, feelings belong at work. My gosh, feelings belong at work, people. We are not robots. And pretending we are is part of what's burning us out. Emotional labor, unspoken grief, invisible disabilities, all of that showed up in these first six episodes. People have real lives outside of the workplace and are dealing with so many things and have so many different lift experiences. And yet we keep treating everybody the same and asking them not to show their feelings at work. So here's your permission slip. Your emotions are not a liability. They're data. Listen to them to learn more about how you're actually doing, not how you think you're supposed to be doing.

Now, if you're thinking, cool, Ellen, but how do I actually do any of this? I've got something for you. It's called the Boundaries at Work Toolkit. It's a free downloadable PDF that includes multiple email templates and short scripts that you can use to help you set needed boundaries, especially if it's not something that comes easy to you. The Boundaries at Work toolkit also includes a daily energy log tool to help you track and analyze what drains or restores you at work, so you're more aware of the places where boundaries will be the most helpful. We talked about using your emotions as data. This is a two week tracker to look at how you're feeling at beginning of each workday and at the end of each workday and what happened in between. And then there's a number of questions to help you analyze the data that you record to see what's really dragging you down and what changes you might actually be able to make.

So this is the kind of thing I wish someone had handed me five years ago, 10 years ago, 20 years ago. It's practical, it's gentle, and it's totally free. And it's one of the many things I hope this podcast gives to you, which is support for doing the hard thing at work.

So if this episode resonated, I'd love for you to share it. Leave a review, tag me on LinkedIn or Instagram, and let me know what themes are landing for you. I do read every message and yeah, it means a lot for me to hear from you. So coming up, we've got more brilliant guests, some deeper dives into topics like emotional labor, feedback and what actually helps teams thrive, not just survive. Until then, keep showing up as yourself. That's the real work.

See you next time.