Episode 45: Three Signs It’s Time To Quit Your Job

Jul 15

Unpacking the three unmistakable signs of chronic workplace burnout and how to reclaim your power while planning your next career move.

Have you ever found yourself staring at your laptop, completely miserable, wondering if it’s finally time to throw in the towel? You aren’t alone, and more importantly, workplace burnout is not your fault. In this solo episode of the Hard at Work Podcast, host Ellen Whitlock Baker tackles one of the most agonizing professional dilemmas: identifying when a job is truly unsalvageable. Navigating outdated corporate norms and high-pressure environments often leaves professionals feeling trapped by financial and security constraints, but staying stuck in chronic stress shouldn't be the default.

This episode dives into the data of toxic work cultures, highlighting three undeniable signs that it is time to quit your job. Ellen explores the heavy toll of persistent anger and resentment—backed by staggering statistics on burnout irritability—alongside the crushing weight of systemic exhaustion and intolerable workplace treatment. By challenging the toxic "give 110%" hustle mentality, this conversation reframes boundaries not as a lack of ambition, but as a mandatory preservation of your mental health. If you are irrationally angry at minor office conflicts or feel like you can never catch up on an infinite to-do list, your body is sending you vital data that your current workplace is no longer viable.

But what do you do when you can't walk out tomorrow? Ellen delivers a practical, empowering toolkit to help you survive a toxic job while executing your exit plan. You will learn how to ruthlessly edit your calendar, master the power of saying "no" to non-mandatory tasks, drop the performance of "busyness," and aggressively claim your hard-earned vacation and sick leave. Ultimately, this episode is a powerful reminder that your self-worth is entirely separate from your job title, offering the exact strategies you need to quietly reclaim your agency, protect your peace, and plan a transition to a career that actually respects your humanity.

Main Topics Covered:

The clear boundary between difficult work experiences and severe mistreatment
Recognizing signs that suggest it's time to quit, including chronic resentment, exhaustion, and intolerable treatment
The importance of setting boundaries, saying no, and prioritizing yourself during transitional periods
How systemic pressures drive burnout and unlearning harmful work culture narratives
Practical steps to plan a departure safely and confidently

Timestamps:

00:00 - The line between tough work situations and harmful treatment
02:06 - How to know when it’s really time to quit your job
03:07 - Signs you might need to leave: burnout, resentment, overwhelming workload
04:56 - Why burnout isn’t your fault and systemic contributors to chronic stress
06:48 - Key signs including persistent anger, exhaustion, and intolerable treatment
09:10 - Challenging the "give 110%" mindset that causes burnout
10:36 - Recognizing when your workload and treatment become unsustainable
11:28 - How workplace toxicity like bullying or discrimination signals it’s time to go
12:45 - The importance of understanding your rights and options for leaving safely
14:09 - Personal story of reclaiming power and making intentional exit plans
16:00 - How to remind yourself of your worth and start the transition
17:23 - Practical boundary-setting strategies during your job transition
19:12 - The critical importance of using vacation and sick leave to support mental health
20:59 - Wrap-up: confirming the signs and embracing your worth

Show Notes:

Professor Christina Maslach’s burnout research
The study referenced in the episode is based on Maslach’s research, but is actually the Sydney Studies conducted by clinical psychiatrist Professor Gordon Parker and colleagues.
Schedule a free 45 minute consultation with Ellen if you feel like it might be time to leave a job but don’t know where to start.

Transcript:

Ellen Whitlock Baker (00:00)

There is a really clear line between having some things happen to you at work that are shitty, working in a workplace that isn't that great, and being harmed or being treated in a way that's really not something anyone should have to put up with ever. You have the power and you have your own self-worth that is stronger than feeling like you have to take it.

And so even if you can't leave tomorrow, you can decide, okay, I'm done, I'm leaving. And that power, that power makes all the difference in the world.

—

I'm Ellen Whitlock Baker, and I help leaders who want to bring humanity and integrity back to work and still have a life left over at the end of the day. After 20 years of navigating the ups and downs of the working world, I started hard at work to help us all build healthier workplaces. I'm here to help you challenge outdated corporate norms, protect your well-being, and give you practical tools to build better work cultures.

—

Hey everyone and welcome back to the Hard at Work Podcast. It has been a minute. I am back with all new podcasts after a brief pause as I worked on some new, exciting, totally different projects. and it's summer, which comes with lots of needing to take care of the kid and summer camps and all the things. So thank you for your patience. As I took a little bit of a break, I've also been working on transitioning to video as well as audio, which is definitely taken lots of learning, trial and error, understanding new equipment. So if you're watching this instead of just listening, hello, it's great to see you. And if you're still listening and not watching, also totally okay. depends on how you like to get your podcasts, I guess. But look at me trying to be hip with the times. I really wanted to pop in today with a solo episode because something's been coming up a lot lately with my clients and people that I'm talking to. And the topic is: how do you know when it's time, really time, to quit your job? And it's a really tough place to be in at work where you're in a place of “I'm miserable” because sometimes we get there. And we get there for a variety of reasons. And none of them are the same for any of us. And that's totally okay. But we get to a place of like, I can't do this anymore. And it's hard because obviously we need income and we need benefits and security and all of the things that our job provides.

And for many of us, we can't just, you know throw a laptop at our boss and say, I quit. don't throw a laptop at your at your boss. But, you know, for many of us, it's really hard to be able to leave a job like that or even feel like we can be able to leave a job. And so I want to walk you through some ways to ask yourself if it's really time, if you've reached that limit.

If there's nothing else to do but leave. And then I'll walk you through some ways to make staying as long as you have to stay until you get a new job, if that is what is in the cards for you, as unmiserable as possible.

If you've been with me for a while, you know that this totally happened to me. So I burned out from my executive role after climbing the ladder and doing all the things I thought I was supposed to do. You know, I had this really great career on paper. I'd risen in the ranks. I was in charge of a team. I was at the executive level. And I totally and completely ran out of gas. Which when I say it like that, it sounds like it's my fault. Like I just didn't have what it takes. But we know that that is BS. Most of us are expected to do more than is actually possible on any given day. Between work, life, family, health, all of the demands that we face. We're taught to be hyper-productive. More is always better. More time in the office, more deliverables met, more projects accomplished, more, more, more, more, more. And this is what leads us to burnout.

When you're always on hyperproductive mode, your nervous system is always on danger mode. And there's always a threat of not being enough or not doing enough. So you fall into chronic stress. And that takes a real measurable toll on your body and your mind. And that's what causes burnout. So let's start off here by being really clear. Burnout isn't your fault. It's caused because you're trying to do too much in a system that really doesn't like it.

When you set boundaries and slow down, you have a million messages telling you every day from your boss to a parent to a sticker on a water bottle that you shouldn't rest until you've done it all, right? Which is actually impossible. to like never rest and keep moving all the time. And yet we've been taught to think it's totally rational and reasonable to ask ourselves that. And like, I can feel my heart rate rising just talking about this. Like I'm stressed even talking about this. So deep breaths, and you don't have to be everything to everyone at all times.

Now that we've established that burnout isn't your fault and that it's very common, it's when we're in burnout that we start to realize that maybe it's the job or the workplace we're in that's causing a lot of the chronic stress we're experiencing.

And that's when we start to think, is it time to move on? But we're not all great at reading our bodies and digging deep to understand what's really going on behind stress. Again, because we haven't been taught to do that. But we've been taught to kind of keep our head down, concealed, don't feel like Elsa and you know, power through.

And if that's you, or if you're experiencing a general feeling of about work, but don't know what to do about it, let me give you some signs that you may want to pay attention to that are telling you it might be time to go. So the first sign is you're resentful and angry all of the time. And this is no shame to you if you're feeling that way. If you are, there's probably a good reason.

And I'm not saying not to have these feelings or that feelings of resentment or anger are bad. They're totally normal. But I am saying that when you're feeling these strong feelings at work, it's a good sign that it might be time to think about leaving. Like when I was deep in my burnout, I was annoyed at everything. Every little conflict felt magnified. We had this one executive team meeting where we took an hour to discuss whether or not we should have a Christmas tree in the lobby or not.

And I was like irrationally angry afterwards, which is maybe not a reasonable reaction to a humorously annoying conversation. When I was in burnout, I was listening to a lot of rage against the machine and radio head, super loud on my way into and home from the office. So those are all good signs that I was really good and angry and resentful.

And anger and irritability are actually two of the most reported physical and emotional problems in burnout. 35% of those included in Professor Christina Maslach's study on burnout in 2021 reported feelings of anger and irritability. Impatience, agitation, frustration, and resentment were all words commonly used by participants to explain how they were feeling. So it's totally okay and often normal to feel angry about work. There's a lot that goes on there that can be frustrating, infuriating, or even harmful. But when you get to a place where you're feeling this way a lot of the time, or even all of the time, that's a strong indicator that it's time to maybe think about leaving.

Sign two that it might be time to leave your job. You're exhausted and it feels like you'll never be able to catch up, no matter what you do, without seriously depleting your energy and desire to do things that aren't work. This one is really tricky, my friends, because a lot of us have been taught that it's actually best if we give it all to work. Think about those sayings like, leave it all on the mat, or no pain, no gain, or you know, give 110%, go above and beyond. These are all things a lot of us have learned about how we're supposed to feel about work, what we're supposed to do at work. A good worker gives 110%, goes above and beyond, doesn't complain. But let me blow your mind for a second. That way of working actually causes burnout. Sometimes the biggest battle in defeating burnout is unlearning all of the things you think are the way it is.

And it's so hard, I know. It's really hard to unlearn. And we don't do it all at once and we're never done. I'll never forget when a coach of mine asked me, what would it look like for you to give 80% at work? I mean, I think my brain exploded. I was like, that's an option. So it turns out that getting your job done within the parameters of your job description is actually an option. Like full stop.

Not trying to do more, not having to take on the responsibilities of that position that got eliminated without any extra pay or taking things off your plate, or whatever it is that you think you have to do to keep your job that is beyond what you have agreed to do in your job description, you don't have to do that. So if you're feeling exhausted, which is the most common sign of burnout, by the way, and like you'll never get to the end of the to-do list, at work or at home, or both. That, my friend, is a sign to listen to, and it could be a sign that it's time to leave. And the third sign, it might be time to quit your job. You're being treated in an intolerable way. However, you want to define that. You don't have to put up with that.

Unfortunately, a lot of us have experienced workplaces or colleagues that act in ways that make it so incredibly difficult to want to go to work anymore. Whether it's bullying, othering, racism, sexism, yelling, engaging in blaming or shaming behavior. Unfortunately, it's more common than it should be. And what I've learned over time is that there are actually lots of workplaces where that kind of behavior isn't tolerated.

Or that there's support built in to help you if you feel like you're being treated poorly or unfairly or even harmed. And I'm not a legal HR professional, so I'm not gonna tell you what to do if this is happening to you. It's different everywhere, it's different for everyone, it's different in every circumstance, it's different in every workplace. But I'd advise you to do some research to see what might be possible for you if you're experiencing this.

Every workplace is different in terms of FMLA or leave policies, reporting rules and options, mediation options, et cetera. The point though that I want to make is that even if there's nothing you can do about how you're being treated, you always have the option to leave.

And I think sometimes we feel like we don't. And there are a lot of reasons for that. And again, like we live in a world where money matters and benefits matter. So I understand and have felt like I was trapped in a job that I was miserable at because I had to keep earning money and bringing in the benefits and all of the things that I have to do. But it was important for me, I think, to realize that I. did have a choice that I could always say, I'm done here and figure it out. I had a situation at a job once that for me was awful, felt super unfair, really destroyed my trust with my leader. And I actually at that point consulted an attorney to see if there was anything I could do legally about it because it felt so wrong to me.

And there wasn't. The lawyer told me she she was like, Yeah, that's a really awful thing to have gone through. But legally, the other person who was involved hasn't done anything that you can take action against. I'm not saying go out and find a lawyer if you're feeling this way. All of that has to be up to you. I'm not giving you legal advice. I'm just telling you a story of what happened to me. And so when that happened, I felt super helpless and powerless and like: I was like, my God, there's nothing I can do about this. This was super unfair. I have to stay here and take this, I guess. When I realized I didn't, that was when I took my power back. Even though I stayed at that job for a while, I realized I didn't deserve to be treated like that. And that I made the decision at that point in time, I'm gonna leave this job. And I'm gonna leave it sooner than later.

But I'm not gonna leave it without having a plan so that I have security for myself and my family as much as possible. I'd say all that to say there is a really clear line between having some things happen to you at work that are shitty, working in a workplace that isn't that great, and being harmed or being treated in a way that's really not something anyone should have to put up with ever.

And like I said before, it's unfortunately kind of common. But you have the power and you have your own self-worth that is stronger than feeling like you have to take it. And so even if you can't leave tomorrow, you can decide, okay, I'm done, I'm leaving. And that power, that power makes all the difference in the world.

What I often say to my clients when they're in this really tough situation of being in a job that is just making them miserable for whatever reason is remember your worth. We spend a lot of time being told we're not enough from everywhere. And we spend a lot of time feeling like our job is our identity. And that can keep us from feeling like we can't leave a job because we'd never get anything good enough, or who am I without this job? It might even be totally subconscious. And you are worth more than that. You're an awesome person who has the right to choose where you work. And if it's not working well for you, you can choose to start looking for something else, even if you can't quit immediately.

We've gone through three signs that it might be time to think about leaving your job. One, you're resentful and angry all the time. Two, you're exhausted and you feel like you can never get everything done on the to-do list. And three, you're being treated in a way that's actually intolerable. If you're feeling any of those things, if you're in that situation, you can stop giving your job all of your attention. In fact, we should probably stop doing this in general.

I'm not saying don't work hard when you're at your job. I'm not saying don't do a good job. I'm not saying we strive for excellence. It's so funny because we get this so twisted. Those things can still be true without you giving your entirety of your being to your job. So what we have to learn is how to set boundaries so that we are not giving all of ourselves away and connecting all of our self-worth to what our job is.

Here are some ways that you can step back a little bit and protect yourself and set some boundaries if you're in a situation where your job, you know that it's something you're gonna have to leave, but you can't leave right now.

Say no. Say no to being on that search committee. Say no to being on any committee. Sorry, you're too busy. Say no. It's not gonna make any difference, especially if you are in a role that you know you're going to leave. You don't need to earn any more political cred. So say no. You should do that anyway, but it can help in this situation in particular. Do the minimum of what you're expected to do. That's what you're getting paid for.

Go through your calendar and vigorously, vigorously remove meetings that you don't need to attend. Again, this is great practice for everyone at every job because things creep onto our calendar that aren't necessary to be attended to right at this second. But in our sort of go, go, go cultures, we can think that like everything is necessary all of the time. You don't have to go to every meeting. And I guarantee you there are meetings that are on your calendar that nobody would miss you at, or that have nothing to do with anything you're actually working on right now. So go through and ruthlessly edit your calendar. Stop doing. This is another tip. Stop doing anything that isn't mandatory. You don't need to drop by that event if you're not supposed to be working at it. You don't need to do that extra addition to the slide deck that you know could get you some bonus points with the boss. When your workplace is causing you distress, it does not deserve your extra.

The final tip I have, this is all in caps in my script, which by the way I write myself and do not have AI right for me, FYI. my final tip take your vacation and sick leave. Take it, take it, take it, take it, take it. If you're accruing, hours and hours and hours of leave, that is not a good practice in general. And a lot of us wear it like a badge of honor, like, no, I have 400 hours of vacation. They're sending me an email that I need to take some of it or it will go away, or whatever it is, depending on your workplace and how vacation accrues and how leave works and all of that. Take your leave. If you are in this place where you are ready and needing to leave your job because it is making you miserable. It's not working for you. You're not being treated fairly. It's just really causing you more grief than it is something you can do every day that makes money that does not cause you grief. You need this time. Take it. Take sick days, take mental health days, take vacations. Again, you don't owe a job that is taking more from you than it should your extra time.

There, my friends, you have it. These are three signs it's time to quit your job, or it might be time to quit your job. You're angry a lot of the time, you're exhausted, and you feel like you can never ever finish your to-do list. And/or you're being treated really badly. And as I say all that out loud, it sounds a little obvious, but it's surprising how much of this we feel is just like normal for work. So let's say it out loud together that it's not, this is not normal.

For you to be treated like this, for you to feel angry all the time, for you to feel exhausted all the time. And remember that you're an incredible person who doesn't have to share all of your gifts with a workplace that is not sharing anything positive with you. This is a situation I help clients with often, unfortunately. And like I said, one I've personally been in more than one time. So if you're feeling this way and you could use some help, sign up for a free 45-minute consultation with me.

And I'll put the link in the show notes. We can talk about whether coaching might be helpful for you as you navigate it. Sometimes just knowing you've got someone on your side can be incredibly meaningful, supportive, and that push that you need to do the scary thing and start to think about doing something different. I'm always on your side. And thanks for listening. As always, please like, subscribe, rate, or share the show if you're enjoying it.

And take care of yourself because there's only one you out there, and we really need you. See you next time on Hard at Work.