Episode 24: Stuck, Blocked, and Ready to Move: How to Outsmart Your Brain's "Don't Do It" Voice
Why your brain resists change -- and how to make it your ally
Three steps to beat fear, rewire your thinking, and finally take action
Episode Summary
We’ve all done it: talked ourselves out of something we know would make life better. A walk. A tough conversation. A career change. But what’s really going on when you know you should do the thing…and you don’t?
In this solo episode of Hard at Work, Ellen Whitlock Baker breaks down the science of “blockers” — the protective part of your brain that sounds the alarm whenever something feels new, different, or risky. She explains how neuroplasticity works, why change feels so threatening, and the three simple steps you can use to prove your blockers wrong.
If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in the cycle of overthinking, avoidance, and regret, this episode will show you how to take tiny experiments that lead to big clarity.
Tags: career clarity, overcoming fear, burnout, blockers, start anyway, neuroscience, boundaries, clarity coaching, workplace change, stuck at work, Hard at Work podcast
Show Notes
Sign up for the Start Anyway workshop here
More information on Immunity to Change
Quotes
“Remember, to your brain, change is dangerous.”
“Nine times out of 10, you're going to prove your blockers wrong once you do the experiments.”
“Be a friend to your brain. Don't be mad at it. Know it's trying to help you and say, hey, but what if we try this?”
Chapter Markers
00:00 – Welcome + 25th episode milestone
01:30 – Talking ourselves out of things (the walk example)
02:15 – Introducing “blockers” and why your brain resists change
04:20 – The science behind stress response + neuroplasticity
08:30 – How to identify what your blockers are afraid of
11:15 – The power of mini experiments
13:30 – The 3-step process to get unstuck
14:45 – Start Anyway Workshop invitation
15:45 – Be a friend to your brain
Transcript
Hi everyone, and welcome to the 25th episode of Hard at Work, which is just completely bananas to think about. I have been having so much fun making a podcast, and I'm really honored to have gotten to interview so many smart people who are changing the way work works in all sorts of different ways.
I hope you've enjoyed them all too and I thank you so much for listening. You may have noticed I took a break from solo episodes in the month of August. I gave myself the time to heal from a surprise rotator cuff surgery. I'm getting a ton better at using my left hand for everything, which is not my dominant hand. So that's been really fun. And I'm just really grateful to the amazing medical team that made something that was really hurting a whole lot better. I hope all of you preserve your rotator cuffs. And if you don't, I'm here for you.
So you got me back for a solo episode. And in this episode, I want to talk about how we talk ourselves out of doing things, because you totally do and you know it.
Chapter 2: Talking Yourself Out of Things
I'll give you a super simple example of how this works. The other day, I planned to go for a walk in the afternoon. I knew that going for the walk would make me feel better, would exercise the dog, would let me get some fresh air and thinking time. But when the time came, I started to talk myself out of it. I was like, it's too hot, or I'm so comfortable, or it would make me have to take a shower and I don't want to. So I didn't go. I talked myself right on out of that walk.
And we do this a lot. And then we wonder why in the world, when we know it's good for us, we still don't do it. Think about that in the context of bigger things. I'm using walking as a really simple example, but what is out there that you are not doing because you're talking yourself out of it?
Chapter 3: Blockers and the Brain
And I've got an answer for what's keeping you from doing it. And that is your blockers. What is a blocker, you say? It's a term I made up for that little voice inside your head that says, don't do it. It's different than what we are used to. You might get hurt. Avoid at all costs, right? There's that little voice that says, this is different, it's scary, don't do it.
These blockers are totally real. They're part of a biological process that happens in your body, but they're not trying to hurt you. They're trying to keep you safe. That's what they care most about.
So in the stress response that happens in your nervous system, the amygdala in your brain sends a notice of danger to the hypothalamus, the command center of the brain, when it sees or perceives something that might be dangerous. And remember, to your brain, change is dangerous. So it perceives that, and the amygdala says to the hypothalamus, alert, and the hypothalamus then sends an alert out to your whole nervous system and the stress response kicks on.
Any change is unsafe. It's different than normal. It's scary. It's bad to your blockers. Unsafe might be a lion running towards you for all your brain knows, so it prepares accordingly.
Chapter 4: Rewiring Through Neuroplasticity
In neuroscience, we learn about neuroplasticity, which is the ability of the brain to form and reorganize connections between neurons using synapses, especially in response to learning, experience, or injury. Your brain is constantly reorganizing how it perceives things.
So, for example, we know that touching a hot pan will burn us because we've seen someone do it or we've done it ourselves. That learning builds a connected network of neurons that says: don't touch that, that's bad.
Now imagine you got magical powers that made you immune to heat, and someone told you to touch a hot pan. You'd be skeptical, right? Because your brain says it's going to hurt. So maybe you try one finger on the pan very quickly. Then two fingers for a bit longer. Then eventually your whole hand. And you realize it doesn’t hurt.
Disclaimer here: there is no magic power to make you immune to heat, so please don't actually touch a hot pan. But this is how you would rewire the existing neuro pathway that says: don't touch the pan, to a new pathway that says: it's safe.
Chapter 5: Naming Your Blockers
So those blockers I was telling you about—they're imaginary, but it helps me to imagine them. I imagine these little colored blobs that tell me, no, don't do it, when there's something new I'm afraid of.
In order to get out of this stuck place, one of the best things you can do is identify what your blockers are afraid of. I'm borrowing here from the immunity to change process, which is awesome, though more detailed than what I'll share here.
You want to identify the thing you very badly want to do, but keep coming up with excuses not to do. For me, it's going on a walk. For you, maybe it's asking your boss for a raise. Or giving yourself permission to look for a new job, even though it's scary.
Chapter 6: Understanding the Fears
So now, step two: figure out what your blockers are afraid of. What are all the things you’re worried might happen if you do the thing? Be exhaustive.
For walking, my blockers say: you'll get too sweaty and have to shower again. It rains a lot here in Seattle, so it’ll be wet and gross, and you’ll have to dry off the dog. Or, if you commit to walking every day and don’t stick to it, you’ll look like a failure.
That third example is closer to what many of you are dealing with.
Chapter 7: Running Mini Experiments
Step three: try mini experiments to test whether your blockers are right. Just tiny little actions. Maybe I commit to walking every day for a week and see what happens. Was it a huge inconvenience? Did anyone call me a failure when I skipped one day?
Nine times out of ten, you’re going to prove your blockers wrong. And that’s the beauty of this model. Because you’re taking one tiny step, your brain clicks out of stress mode and looks at it with a more research-driven lens.
So, the steps again:
Name the thing you want to do but aren’t.
Identify what your blockers are afraid of.
Run a mini experiment to test those fears.
As you prove your fears wrong, it gets easier to move forward. And that’s how you get unstuck.
Chapter 8: Putting It Into Practice
This is exactly what I teach in my Start Anyway workshop, where we go deeper and I guide you through it more personally. But even at this level, the model works. It interrupts the cycle of: I should do the thing, I won’t do the thing, I feel bad I didn’t do the thing, repeat.
Your brain likes data. So the experiments give it data, and the rewiring begins.
So if you’re struggling, try it. Reach out and let me know how it goes. Slide into my DMs, email me at ellen@ewbcoaching.com. I’d love to hear your story.
And if you want to go deeper, join the next Start Anyway workshop. It’s on September 18th, it’s $37, and you’ll get the replay if you can’t make it live. The folks who did it last time found it really helpful in moving forward on things they’d been stuck on.
Chapter 9: Closing Thoughts
So I hope this episode helps you get out of stuck mode. Don’t beat yourself up if you’re there. Your brain is just trying to keep you safe. Be a friend to your brain. Don’t be mad at it. Say: hey, what if we try this? Can we try this?
Honestly, it works really well. And please, for the love of God, don’t actually touch a hot pan.
Thank you so much for listening, and I’ll see you next time on Hard at Work.
