Are you limiting yourself?

I was working with a client recently who said "there's no way I could do [big new thing] because I'm really bad at [little thing]."

These are words I have uttered many times. For example, I told myself for years, ever since I came in last in...everything (no really, everything) during high school P.E. that there was no way I could ever run a half marathon because I was bad at running.

My limiting belief was that there was no way I could accomplish this because I was just bad at it. Full stop.

Have you ever had a terrible onboarding experience? You’re not alone.

Once I had to play desk musical chairs for the first couple of weeks of my new job until they got around to clearing out my office from the prior occupant. Another time I had almost no support from a leader with one foot out the door, so I had to find the right people to meet with and stumble around to find how to do simple things like print or request vacation leave.

I used to be an actor. Everyone who has met me in real life is unsurprised by this. 

When I graduated from college with a degree in theatre, I moved to Seattle to be a full-time actor with barista-ing on the side; I quickly realized that it wasn’t the life for me and no, I did not want to move to Poughkeepsie for 6 weeks to be Ophelia.

The good news for me is that there are a ton of transferable skills from a theatre degree to the working world, and I’ll tell you about one of my favorites now - how to prepare for an interview like you’re an actor prepping for auditions. 

I’m nervously excited about starting this blog. First, because I’m worried I am supposed to be using Tik Tok instead of a blog (am I living in 2010?). And second, it’s kind of scary (terrifying, really) to put yourself out there online.

So, here we go. Hi, I’m Ellen.

Have you ever had an Emma Thompson moment at work? Slipped quietly into a bathroom or an office or unused conference room with no windows and a door that locks (oddly specific because that’s my preferred place) and cried? 

(If you haven’t, I want you to keep reading anyway, because you 100% work with someone, are friends with someone, or have someone in your life who HAS done this. Possibly a lot.)

If you have done this, I want you to tell yourself, right now, that it’s OK. You are not “overly emotional.” You are not wrong. You are not acting in an unprofessional way. 

You are a human. And you’re acting like it. 

It comes up suddenly. That choking feeling, the panic, sinking into hyper-multitasking. We’re all feeling it more and more - in 2022 over one third of US residents reported that they are completely overwhelmed by stress each day, with those aged 18-44 feeling it the most. And a lot of what overwhelms us are things we can’t control. In addition to all the home/work stress, there is so much pain in the world right now, and a lot of us are feeling it hard. 

This experience was so powerful that I became a coach myself, because I want to be able to impact others the way my coaches have impacted me. I’ve been honored to help clients through some of the same things I was going through back then (the values exercise is one of my favorites). I’ve helped folx navigate big new leadership roles, burnout, emerging from freeze mode, thinking about what’s next for them, and so much more. 

If you’re “coach curious,” I’d love to chat. Drop me a line (does anyone actually drop a person a line anymore?). I look forward to helping you think about whether coaching is right for you, and whether I’m the right coach for you.

Do you feel valued at work? 

If not, you’re not alone. In fact, a recent survey by Workhuman reports that one-half of employees feel only somewhat valued or not valued at all by their employer. 

Feeling unvalued hurts. You’re not excited to come to work when no one seems to care about the work you’re doing–why would you be? 

Are you someone who takes the time to reflect and process? Or are you like me, always charging full steam ahead paying very little attention to how you’re feeling about anything? 

I’m a recent convert to the process of reflection, which is proven to boost growth and productivity. I can attest that reflection can absolutely help you make better informed decisions about your work and your life.